New Years Resolutions

By Linda Cicoira

New Year’s resolutions that involve dieting, working out regularly, or punishing oneself by eating asparagus or okra are not for me in 2026. I’ll be lucky to last a week with that nonsense.

I’ve been thinking about resolving to enjoy ice cream every day, or to stop cleaning the house. Wait! I already indulge myself, and that cleaning stuff is only for when I’m expecting company. I’m happy with those choices.

Hmmm… Maybe I shall attempt to relax and enjoy my semi-retirement more. Nah. Relaxing is not something I’m good at. I could travel to Italy instead, if I continue to support the school system by buying more losing lottery tickets.

I could blast the music and dance around the house daily. I suggest everyone try that.

Or I could vow to pet my dog, Skye, more. She would enjoy that. And when she is happy, I am too. Don’t worry, Skye is possibly the most spoiled dog on the planet and gets plenty of loving.

Maybe I will smile at strangers more often. That is fun. Most people smile back. It is contagious. That’s a lot better than skipping the morning bowl of Chocolate Chex.

How about if I eat two McDonald’s apple pies for lunch whenever I can? Did you know the pies are cheaper when you order inside at the kiosk? It’s true. I try to do that whenever I am near the fast-food establishment between noon and 1 p.m.

I could paint pictures more often. I could call friends and check in. Texting does take more effort. I could take photos of things I like. Or watch more movies. Or I could go to the theater at least once a month now that I qualify for a less expensive ticket. If I encouraged others to do so, we could all go. Let’s do it!

I could play Words with Friends every day of the week. I used to do that. I challenge everyone to participate. I could play backgammon more often. I enjoy both, especially when I win. I could start going to bingo or play more poker. I have a rummy partner who beats me once in a while. I could make that never.

I could encourage others in my community and in the closest town to host game gatherings in the afternoon.

There are so many New Year’s resolutions to make. Why do we have to try to do the impossible? I could live from paycheck to paycheck. That’s a funny one and quite familiar.

I could try harder to please everyone. That’s up there with exercising more.

I could get rid of the clothes I wore when I was 25. Or put $20 into a savings account every month. That would be $240 after 12 months. I could cash out in June and buy myself a present. Or just let it accumulate, which is another thing as hard as dieting.