Clouds, Penguins and Other Facts I Wish I Didn’t Know

By Linda Cicoira

One of the very best things about living on the flatlands of the Eastern Shore of Virginia is seeing the beautiful horizon. We can witness the most fabulous sunrises, sunsets, and big white fluffy clouds.

I recently read a fun fact about those masses of condensed water vapor that float above us in the blue skies. I love the ones that sometimes take on the shape of animals skipping along the edge of the ocean or the bay. This article said that those billowing masses weigh about a million tons.

Immediately, Chicken Little popped into my head and started yelling about the sky falling. It ruined my enjoyment of the clouds and turned it into a science project. I mean, what if one of those clouds stumbled and fell? Ahhhh!

Did someone go up there with a scale? Or did the cloud reach down a hand and grab the device that I threw out my upstairs window last week? Regardless, and without a doubt, that scale is coming back down. There’s no way the clouds could be happy with such readings. That’s how the scale got out in the yard in the first place.

I am equally cynical when I read about people’s opinions on what animals are thinking. Is a dog or cat who stares at you, looking in admiration? How would anyone really know the answer to that question?

Did my dog tell them? She sure doesn’t communicate with me on that level. I know when she is hungry or thirsty because she will smack the empty water or kibble bowls with her paws until I pay attention. Otherwise, she seems pretty content to snooze the day away. That old saying, “working like a dog,” does not cut it at my house. Skye does not play that game. She actually lies down to eat her supper.

I also read that there is a real medical condition called exploding head syndrome that causes people to hear loud bangs or crashes right as they fall asleep. What? I think that is called dreaming. Hello! Wake up!

Did you know the saying, “American as Apple Pie,” is a misconception since the first recorded recipe for the dessert was written in England? It’s true. I saw it online.

I no longer climb into public swimming pools or the water at the beach for a reason. Almost three percent of the ice in Antarctica is penguin urine. Guess what else is happening out there? Snails are regenerating their eyes and starfish are turning their stomachs inside out. Ugh!

The world’s largest animal, a blue whale, has a heart that weighs about 400 pounds. It was reported as being the size of a small piano. What kind of a measurement is that? What kind of piano? The whale’s heartbeat supposedly can be heard from more than two miles away. So that wasn’t a UFO I heard the other night. Yippee!

Someone recently mentioned that you can think about anything you want when a stranger or anyone else strikes up a conversation with you at the grocery store. Now I’ve got a few subjects I can use and so do you. They will never know.